Wesley Clark did it and it sank his ship faster than a Howard Dean rally cry. "Yeeeeeaarrrgghhh!" We can only hope Kerry will follow suit, although it seems rather unlikely. After all, Moore apparently doesn't even have enough real fans to fill two rooms in a suburban home.

Okay, okay, so there was more than one dwelling involved, but doesn't the whole idea of having a Michael Moore House Party seem horribly lame? What, the Javits Center was booked? Tupperware party cancelled?

Come to think of it, judging by Moore's girth, I'd definitely peg him for a Pampered Chef fan. "Break out the obscure cheese whiz anointment utensil, Hazel. Mr. Moore hasn't eaten in going on twenty minutes now. He's starving!"