Constantly we hear sneers from Europe about that "Texan cowboy" (wish they'd get the adjective right); American boorishness; our "cultural imperialism" and in general a cheap shot whenever it seems like a fun thing to do. Resentment and envy, I think, that will be paid for and soon. Previously in these pages I stole from The Spectator and article by Irwin Stelzer, a man of good manners who was taunted into incandescence by European jibes. His points, made to Europeans, were good ones. He didn't go quite far enough, though for he didn't get into their snobbery about our cultural imperialism. It is true that Hollywood puts out much trash but doesn't its work, including the swill, especially the swill, make even more money overseas than here?

A 17th-century Creole nun and poetess, Sor Juana Ines de la Cruz wrote

O who is more to blame,
He who sins for pay
Or he who pays for sin?

Nancy Reagan's "Just say no" comes to mind too.

We need to cut the boy some slack! How many he owns does not matter. He can only fly one at a time!

If you are hanging around the blogosphere at all you have probably already seen this modest proposal by former Ambassador Dan Simpson on the disarming of America's gun owners. It has gone viral on the internet for obvious reasons.

We have to presume that Ambassador Simpson was not joking when he wrote the column in which he calls for a virtual....no, excuse me....a very real police state in order to relieve America's gun owners of not just their guns, but also of their First, Second, Fourth, and Fifth Amendment rights in the process.

There is much analysis of this proposal all over the place today. I will leave that to the experts. Start with the serious here and the non-serious here.

What bothers me the most is that a former member of our country's diplomatic corps 1) has knowingly proposed an outright police state, or 2) has honestly explained his idea for a solution and can't see that what he has described is a police state.

Either way it is bad.

According to this bio Mr. Simpson was an ambassador to both the Central African Republic and to Congo in the 1990's (under both Bush I and Clinton administrations, btw).

First Joe Wilson and now this guy. When it comes to our diplomatic corps and Africa...well....we aren't exactly sending the Varsity are we?

As many long time readers of JW might know, the contributing bloggers to the well, or "Wellheads" are a secretive and independent group. So much so, we only communicate with each other through the comments, only the Site Admin 'knows all'.

That being said, there is no real Wellhead position on any issue. About the only thing I'm sure of when it comes to the other bloggers is that I'll need a Thesaurus when Theocritus posts.

For as much as I beat on the City for thinking of a Convention Center and the County for paying many times the tax appraisal value of a building, not every project is unworthy.

The MISD school bond which will be on the ballot (Early Voting Starts Monday) is worthy of my support.

On Proposition One: There is no denying that Midland is growing and that implies we need more classroom space. Not much else you can say. I'm voting for this.

On Proposition Two: A little over $5 million of the $7 million in this proposition is for field houses, dressing rooms, etc. for the softball and soccer programs at the High Schools. The remainder of the funds is for improvements to the gyms at all the secondary campuses. For the sports aginners, the $5 million is nice red meat. However, I'm not a sports aginner. Athletic programs are a cultural mark of our community and our Amateur Sports Associations, High Schools, and Professional teams have all contributed greatly to our community. Sports is one of the few ventures in our community that is a huge quality of life elevator AND a proven economic engine. Yeah, its not a "classroom expense," but it is a local priority, and I'm all about more local control of our education system and the money we spend on it. So I'm voting yes for this too.

The funny thing is, MISD had proposed most of this many years ago in their failed $105 Million bond. MISD just had some bad timing there. The board had just finished trudging through the Unitary Status lawsuits, the community had bond fatigue from the Airport and Sports Complex, and MISD was losing students in our flat to failing economy. In the end MISD was right, but from their failure, every taxing entity in the community learned that you just can't throw and ad valorem tax on the ballot "for the children" and expect the Midland voters to approve it without being ready to explain and defend your needs.

I heard on the radio today that the Odessa Economic Development Corporation had rescinded two Economic Development Contracts with local businesses. Lo and behold, at the EDC's meeting on April 12, they did have agenda items to rescind agreements with Cameron Measurement and Bear's Machine and Manufacturing.

Before I go any further, why is this in the top of the hour local news blurb two weeks after the fact?

What is priceless was the explanation for agreeing to let these companies out of their ED contracts. It seems they cannot meet their employment goals, because they can't find enough workers to hire because of all the jobs created by all this economic development activity that WASN'T fostered by ED tax money.

Today I turn 52, which means little to me. Thirty-three was difficult for I'd left Midland, and a life behind, to go into the hinterlands. I thought it might be bad and it got worse than I could have imagined. Well, as they said in the early days of flight, any landing you walk away from is a good one.

And every time I talk to Michele, my physician, she tells me things which augur that I may be objectionable for many years to come. I like that although I suspect that even the cats are getting irritated at me, if one can judge by the insouciance with which they shake their tails walking away.

Yesterday I got an eCard(tm) from Hallmark telling me that I had a card. They knew that I had a birthday coming for last year a friend sent me one. And for a Hallmark card, it was not egregious. But I did not recognize the name of the sender--funweary@xxxx.net, and when I clicked on the link there was nothing there but an invitation for me to send some drivel to some other person.

Not only does Hallmark phish with crap, but it doesn't even give you a free card costing nothing. Perhaps it would put too much strain on its servers.

We shake our heads about the idiocy of the bureaucrats, and I could give endless examples but you have a life and I have a job. But we are not by any means the only ones so afflicted.

I'm told that one reason that India is undergoing the creation of wealth is that there has been a concerted effort to cut the red tape, which was noted as being some of the worst in the world, and from documentaries I've seen, I believe it. I wanted to crawl through the screen and strangle every jobsworth there. Ought to be a free kill. Since it is posited that by 2050 India will account for about 30% of the world's economy, and the chest-puffing European Union for less than 10%, they might learn something. But teaching the French? Quelle horreur!

You might as well sit back and enjoy it for there's nothing that you can do.

All we hear these days, that is when we're not being accused (astonishing projection, that) of selfishness, meanness and greed, is the interminable tocsin of the horrors of Global Warming(tm).

"The world as we know it will end!" Which is just the point for them; they'd like another or failing that the ability to have a hand in the running of this one.

"The oceans will rise 50'!" And how nice that would be to open a marina anywhere in Florida, not having to stump up the money for what is now coastline property. To a certain sort of person the best way to pay your dues is to get others to pay them for you, with menaces and sneers.

I knew that the usual suspects of squinty-eyed leftists, the sort who stew in resentment and spurt it out at every opportunity, had seized on global warming as their engine of nastiness, and they were cheerleading the usual Chickens Little, drama queens who enjoy a good bit of hysteria. Since there is no science to it, I had (foolish) hopes that they might, like Arabs before they learned to fly planes, fold their tents and steal away. But no such luck. One day I really will grow up, if I'm very unlucky.

I gather the news is still wallowing in chin-pulling and navel-gazing about the shooting at Virginia Tech. As the entire world knows, Cho Seung-Hui killed at least 30 people and wounded others before taking himself out. One can question his time line, perhaps, but not his efficiency.

Lucinda Roy, the former chairwoman of the English department, had recognized his internal "anger" and had reported it to security who, without an overt threat, felt they could do nothing about it, and so she decided that she could not send him back to the classroom and tutored him herself. Let me save for another blast the cowardice of security for I only mean to throw stones at Roy and those of her sorry ilk right now.

I cannot but think that this is not the best use of Roy's time, to engage in one-on-one tutoring with a student who is obviously not intending to take advantage of the opportunities for education, who had, in her own words, refused to participate and listened to music in class. (Although, having heard this woman being interviewed on the radio, one might make the argument that her time is best spent away from as many people as possible, except possibly to ask, "Do you want fries with that?") This does not, however, detract from my argument that she or any other jobsworth is paid to educate people efficiently. She is, after all, disposing of other peoples' money, hereinafter referred to as OPM. The fact that OPM is taken, by menaces, must make disposing of it all the sweeter, which defines the character of a jobsworth.

What if there was not a downtown Hilton?

Would we even be having this discussion about a New Convention Center, or even built Midland Center in the first place? Every story about the Center always seems to include some quote about how having a large capacity, high quality hotel in close proximity (specifically the Hilton) is a prerequisite for building a convention center.

What is there to guarantee the Midland Hilton will still be in business when this project is completed? Don't think it can't happen? First National Bank went under, TI bailed on a multi-million dollar facility, the Midland Hilton is already an independently owned property (Wall Street Hospitality LTD), having been sold by Hilton Hotels a couple of years ago, they just stayed in the branding and booking family.

Besides, Walsingham has already debunked the "New Convention Center" being a room night generator. Which makes me wonder, if you got the owners of the Hilton to take off their "Downtown Booster" hats, what do they really think a "New Convention Center" would do for their business?

This is quickly becoming one of the more priceless chapters in the history of small-town government. Read, watch, and laugh.

By the way, a word to the wise for Rick Menchaca: Get a life, Bruh. The video is funny.

MRT - A Midland Police Department officer targeted in an investigation over the release of departmental footage to the Internet has alleged City Manager Rick Menchaca violated the law by calling for disciplinary measures to be taken without a written complaint having been filed.

According to a memo from MPD Chief John Urby to Assistant City Manager Tommy Hudson, Officer Raymond J. Miller was assisting a motorist who was pushing his vehicle out of the roadway on Aug. 30, 2006. The digital camera in Miller's vehicle captured footage of the motorist's pants falling down and he later downloaded the recording into his office computer and added music for use as a "touch of humor for future in-service traffic training." The footage was e-mailed to other officers inside the department and eventually placed on the Internet.

While everybody seems to have been inundated by images and stories related to VT, the wheels of community aggrandizement continued to churn. The MRT filed its latest report on the Convention Center Task force, and with that we are treated with some task force members questioning about how you're going to locate a 112,000 S.F. building in downtown without eminent domain.

If this thing goes through, I don't think eminent domain will be a problem so long as the City hires the same appraiser as the County when they determine the fair market value of the property. Who's going to fight when you get 20x what you paid for a building, or 5x what it is reasonably worth?

Though not reported in the MRT, it was reported on the radio that the Task Force also took a guided tour of the Horseshoe, with the architect for the Convention Center pointing out things like "level of finish" and function.

Additionally, since "Black Tie Affairs" are a potential top user of a "new convention center" lets not forget the competition for this all important demographic: the Performing Arts Center!

The committee's goal is to construct a $66 million performing arts center that will span across 100,000 square feet. The 10-story facility will include 2,000 seats, two balconies, superior acoustics and aesthetics. There also would be room for UTPB's music program, a 200-seat multipurpose venue, a lobby that could accommodate events of its own and added parking.

Just as an aside, did anyone else find it curious that performing arts center was first stated as a desire in 1968? I wonder if the dreamers in 1968 envisioned the Opulent Opera House of the Mesquite we're about to get?

In reading some online news reports today, this really stood out at me:

"I know we're talking about a youngster, but troubled youngsters get drunk and jump off buildings," she said. "There was something mean about this boy. It was the meanness - I've taught troubled youngsters and crazy people - it was the meanness that bothered me. It was a really mean streak."

Giovanni said her students were so unnerved by Cho's behavior, including taking pictures of them with his cell phone, that some stopped coming to class and she had security check on her room. She eventually had him taken out of her class, saying she would quit if he wasn't removed.

Lucinda Roy, a co-director of creative writing at Virginia Tech, said she tutored Cho after that.

This along with disciplinary hearings for stalking in 2005, statements that he sat in classes with his hat down low and listening to music instead of participating makes me wonder what on earth he was still doing at this university. Incidents like this should have had his butt off that campus, never to return years ago.

I figure if I was scaring the Professor with my work and attitude I would not be "sent to counseling and offered tutoring services." I'd no longer be a student at the University. This just screams of the "every student must succeed" and we must "try to understand and meet student needs" mantras that are rampant in the education industry today.

This is not to say that kicking him out of VT years or semesters ago would have prevented such an incident, He probably would have snapped in a Shopping Mall or something.

This just in: France disapproves of American culture. They say the Virginia Tech debacle was inevitable.

France's Le Monde newspaper said such episodes frequently disfigure the "American dream."

"The ... slaughter forces American society to once again examine itself, its violence, the obsession with guns of part of its population, the troubles of its youth, subjected to the double tyranny of abundance and competition," it wrote.

That...to quote Wolfgang Pauli "Is not correct. In fact, it is not even wrong". Besides, they missed a golden opportunity to go for the triple tyranny of abundance, competition and hygiene.

Perhaps we could give an ear to their ideas about troubled youth; that is something they know about.

And we shouldn't be surprised. It's been awfully quiet since the expiration of the so-called "Assault Weapons Ban'" a few years ago, and yesterdays' violent murders are just the ammunition that anti-gunners have been waiting for to pick up their sacred flame again and commence running like hell toward congress.

From Good Morning America to CNN and all points in between, the rumblings are starting, fueled by the usual incorrect technical info and propagandized gun statistics that always accompany the ridiculous arguments of those who would see the second amendment stricken from the historical record.

Meanwhile, I haven't heard one person besides me mention the fact that if only one (much less all) of those victims at Virginia Tech been armed and well-trained in the use of small weapons, likely far less than 32 people wouldn't have died yesterday. But Cho Seung-Hui, the Korean national who carried out the vile acts knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that not a single one of his victims would be armed or able to offer any significant measure of resistance.

So let me apparently be the first to say that we need fewer gun restrictions in this country, not more. There are already 20,000 US gun laws on the books that didn't work for sh** yesterday, nevermind the laws against murder. Laws only matter to those willing to abide by them.

Perhaps nowhere else has the influence of the blogosphere been so vividly illustrated than in the case of Professor K.C. Johnson's investigative online reporting and otherwise outright scooping of Old Media in the Duke rape scandal.

From the Chicago Sports Review:

"K.C. Johnson's Durham-In-Wonderland may not be a sports blog per se, but he helped build the case for the sporting world's equivalent of the Trent Lott affair...Johnson, a history professor at Brooklyn College, doggedly investigated the rape case made against three Duke lacrosse players by Durham County district attorney Michael Nifong, until DNA evidence exonerated the players and Nifong resigned from the case amidst charges of ethics violations."

Are you scared, Old Media? You should be. The times, they are a'changing.

Only now is The Goracle installing solar panels in one of his three houses, in this case his ginormous mansion in the Belle Meade area of Nashville (I wonder in which of John Edward's "Two America's" the Belle Meade area is located.)

Follow the link but make sure that you read the comments there. A couple of global warming apostates have actually calculated the cost and area that would be required for Gore to go totally solar (not that Gore intends to do that) and maintain his oh-so-green 15,000kWh per month energy consumption.

"...at 15,000 kWh per month he'll need a little over a thousand 200W General Electric solar panels. Those panels cost $1,100 each with a surface area of 1.45m2, meaning that he'll need over 1.5km2 to supply his energy needs with solar."

and

"That being the case, it's still 0.37 acres of solar panels without including spacing for racks, etc. It also has to be either sun-tracking or facing south and not in the shade from trees, etc. That works out to 16,000 square feet of solar panels, bigger than his house."

And that is just the electricity. Not the gas or heating oil. And, again, this for just one of his houses.

But he is carbon-neutral, you see.

All right, all right--as parodiorthosis it's weak but I've spent the day avoiding an officious bureaucrat whose job description is, in her mind, telling people to do things which are arbitrary and capricious, and that makes it all the better. I console myself that at least she hasn't yet figured the greater latitude for standing foursquare in the way of others offered by elected office. She's slow.

Yes, I do turn up piano concerti to avoid thinking of the grasping glad-handing politicians. Senators Clinton and Schumer would require Mozart's 20th, in d minor, K466, and if I had seen Mrs. Clinton in full throttle or Senator Schumer in full sneer, I'd have to compare Ashkenazy's and Uchida's versions and perhaps go on to Perahia. It is not for nothing that I tend to ignore the news these days, for there is nothing that I can do but damn them, and it takes all night to do it well, and when the morning has broken, I still haven't really left home plate and I'm too tired, and cross, for the day's work. And I don't want to be defenseless for the next obstructionist bureaucrat to plant her fat ass in my way. Head action optional.

Bacon on a Koran: Hate Crime.

Crucifix in Urine: Funded by National Endowment for the Arts.

As you were.

Looking at the stories across the business pages regarding Sen. Chuck Schumer's call to bail out people with sub-prime mortgages, I had this vision of Theocritus turning up some piano concerto in an attempt to dissuade himself of what must be a growing desire to rid our country of both Senators from New York.

As a Taxpayer, I'm tired of bailing out stupid people. You build your house in a flood-plain and don't have flood insurance, you're stupid and I shouldn't have to pay for it. You sign up for an exotic home loan that works only if interest rates don't go up, but your house value does, you're a stupid gambler and I shouldn't have to pay for it. What's next, you go to Vegas or the Track, or your business goes under because you can't balance a checkbook and that makes you eligible for a taxpayer bail-out.

I would wager that a high percentage of these sub-prime loans that are "about to default" aren't even held by the person occupying the property. They are most likely speculative deals sold to people watching too much late night TV with ads on how to flip houses.

The markets need to be cleansed of this stupidity, we don't need to have the government enabling it.

Some things are just universal in politics, I guess. Below is a quote from Jeff Goldstein at Protein Wisdom concerning the issue of a documentary filmed for PBS titled "Islam v. Islamists" that will not be shown bacause it did not pass muster with the radical group CAIR.

You've been hearing me prattle on about the importance, in identity politics, of gaining control of the narrative - with the initial battle happening between warring factions within the group itself. Once a particular narrative is ascendant, those who don't adhere to it are labeled apostates or "inauthentic" - putting immense pressure on ostensible members of the group who might disagree with the master narrative to either toe the line, or at the very least remain silent for fear of being ostracized. From there, only those who are "authentic" have the requisite ontology to question or criticize the master narrative."

And it is not just on the war. Does anyone else recognize this process being used with the "man-made" global warming debate?

And even locally with the new convention center issue. You can't look at paltry attendance projections and incomes and say that a new center is not worth the money we would spend to build it. To do so is to be non-progressive or to not care about Midland's future.

Those who do so are outside the approved narrative. But in local politics they are not called apostates. They are labeled "aginners".

The article is not nearly as interesting as the headline.

I've just finished tallying up the approximately 45% of my hard earned income that we are handing over or have already handed over to various government agencies for Tax Year 2006. Joy.

And my tax program won't let me deduct the 1% incremental sales tax we lucky Midlanders are charged for various boondoggles around here: It will not allow an adjustment to the state's 6.25% tax and the (average I guess) 1% "local tax" that is coded into the program.

It is said that the tax software folks are enablers of the complex tax code. I don't know. I still feel like I am likely missing a savings or deduction somewhere, but not enought to warrant shelling out hundreds for someone to "do" my taxes for me.

Flat. Tax. Now.

Oh, by the way: those of you who pay little or no tax and are big users of tax subsidized services (busses, hospitals, airports, the armed forces, the police, my street)...you're welcome.

Does this sound familiar?

...the real problem with the transit industry is too much money. Because transit agencies get the vast majority of their funds from taxpayers rather than transit riders, their incentives are to build expensive, glitsy urban monuments rather than provide economical transit services to those who need them.

Go. Read.

Oh. And you know what is really cool about our new, bigger, "glitsy" busses? When they are, as usual, only carrying one or two passengers they look even emptier than the old, small, less glitsy busses they replaced.

Solution: it still is to throw the keys to a used Crown Vic to every frequent rider of the bus that can drive, and provide on call, door to door small bus service to those who cannot drive. Or pay for a cab.

RIP: Johnny Hart, cartoonist and creator of the comic strip "B.C." died on Easter Sunday.

A tribute from Michelle Malkin.

Good news for Trace Engines:

Midland's newest manufacturer, Trace Engines, chalked up a major accomplishment with receipt of a certificate to build and release aircraft engines.

The company received approval from the Federal Aviation Administration to transfer the OE600A Engine Type certificate from Orenda Recip Inc. to TRACE Engines LP.

This is good news also:

"And, he [Trace CEO Craig Hoover] said, the jobs being created are high-paying, high-skilled jobs so desirable in an economy. Furthermore, he said, the company is owned by local investors who are committed to keeping it in Midland."

Which means that if the Midland Development Corporation is going to offer Trace Engines an incentive package then they need to hurry.

The City Council has agreed to investigate the accusations against City Manager Rick Menchaca.

Fair enough, I guess.

But I tend to agree with the commenter over at mywestexas.com (follow the link above) that it would be kind of handy for us to know what the accusations are exactly.

The headline is pretty damning and needs to be fleshed out. As much for Mr. Menchaca's benefit as our own.

Regarding the Nielsen ratings of the local television newcasts:

KOSA posted a pair of 31s, while KWES registered a share of 24 in Midland-Odessa and 25 in the area. KMID scored shares of 6 and 5 percent respectively.

Man, KMID's ratings are totally in the crapper. Did they add Keith Olbermann to the line up or something?

It is time for drastic measures. The only thing that can save KMID at this point is another local New Year's Eve Bash hosted by J. Gordon Lunn....complete with his rendition of "My Way".

Or not.

The county has purchased the Heritage building to relieve overcrowding at the main courthouse:

"County officials said the nine courts that are located in the county's courthouse will be relocated to the 11-story building located at 500 N. Loraine Street, along with certain county offices that regularly interact with the court system, such as the District Clerk's Office and County Clerk's Office."

Which doesn't leave many of the county's employees truly downtown.

Downtown must be a tough sell when you can't even keep the County offices there.

Or maybe the courthouse will be made into condos also.

Via Ace:

"Romney: I'm A Lifelong Hunter. And By 'Lifelong,' I Mean I Hunted Once As A Child, And Then Once Again Last Year"

Plus, Romney has done a complete 180 on several issues.

I think our Mr. Conaway jumped on this horse a bit too early.

The story in the MRT regarding the possible funding avenues for the Convention Center, was pretty much what I had expected. Admitting a "Property Tax Funding Option" has sparked quite a bit of lunch room and coffee shop chatter today. It was music to my ears.

With all the good items in this story, the boosters seem to still have "The Fever." I suspect it is "The Fever" that makes many a soul wind up in the presence of Theocritus begging him to place a call to CountryWide to get them out of some exotic debt instrument.

I think it goes like this:

Booster: I gotta have a Convention Center. My consultants told me so decades ago, every other City has one, you say I'm bankable, new consultants say we'll fill it up...I just got to have it!

Banker: You're assets look great, but I'm concerned about your cash flow. So I'm not going to be able to approve you for a conventional revenue bond.

Booster: But I want a Convention Center...look at the one I have now. Its old, run down, and it just isn't big enough for my growing City. Isn't there anything I can do?

Banker: Well, if you can get your voters to co-sign on the note, with a property tax pledge, I have this funding plan that will get you your convention center.

Booster: Really? That's great, where do I sign?

Banker: You want to hear the terms first?

Booster: Ummm, OK, I guess I ought to hear them.

Banker: What we're going to do is front load your co-signers with a really big payment in the first year and then big payments for the next 9 years. Then in year 11, "Uncle Venue Tax" is going to show up and take over most of the payments for the remainder of the term.

Booster: I like "Uncle Venue Tax"

Is it just me or have internet broadband speeds very seriously degraded since Suddenlink took over for Cox?

Hat Tip to Eric at Fireant Gazette for the term "Soddenlink". And if you doubt that he was the one who first came up with it just look here.

I caught a little bit of Keith Olbermann last night by mistake. He was interviewing the de-facto leader of the White Flag Democrats, Senator Russ Feingold (D-Woodstock).

Actually, it wasn't so much an interview as...well...how to put this?

Okay, to see this much man-on-man action anywhere else it would require a credit card number and a promise that you were over 18 years old.

The BBC deserves maximum kudos for producing this film, which uses actual science to set the record straight on Global Warming.

So now, ladies and gentlemen, Jessica's Well is proud to present The Great Global Warming Swindle. Grab a Glenfiddich & soda, kick back, and enjoy the next 74 minutes:

I have in these pages quoted The Spectator many times, and I believe it worth the cost of admission. And since I might be about to violate its copyright by freighting one of the articles you can't see unless you are a subscriber, I'll praise it a bit more.

It's a good magazine. It was established in 1828 and has been the home of Tory writing for nearly two centuries; some of its contributors over the decades are familiar names in literature at large, not merely journalists. H. W. Fowler, author or co-author of The King's English, The Oxford Concise Dictionary, and Modern English Usage, couldn't get articles placed there, the touchstone for fine writing a century ago, and went on to write the standards for good English.

The editing of The Spectator is good, and the range of articles is diverse. More important, it is not the home of rabid ideologues. You'll find no David Corn, of course, blood-lust simmering behind his hate-filled eyes, dreaming of the gulag where people have to pay attention to him; and you won't find Tom Bethell, whose right-wing and strangely credulous ranting often disfigures the eponymous The American Spectator, which served, by the way, as the introduction to the (better) original. Rod Liddle, a man of the left, is someone that you wouldn't mind having as a neighbor. You could imagine having him over, and having a discussion without the sense that the goon squad would be coming later if you didn't express ideological purity--Algore comes to mind here--or that you'd have to count the spoons after he'd left. Algore comes to mind again. Oh. They'd be gifts from some Buddhist nun he'd found in the back. Who just happened to have the password to your Vanguard brokerage account too. If Slick Willie had come the cat would be pregnant.