My ideas and authority, redux
I have had the scales fall from my eyes in the last week. All of these years I have thought that the world was a cold, cruel place which didn't care about me or my ideas, and that it was up to me to fit in the world and to make sense of it. But I was wrong. I see that all I have to do is insist on my Ideas and Authority to make it all better. Better insofar as I am concerned and that's all that counts.
Islamists hate us and want to die to kill us. Well, before I would have worried. But now, by my Ideas and Authority, I decree that we shall all hug an Imam and all will be right and we'll meet for a macchiato at Starbucks. And if I'm lucky, using my Ideas and Authority, they won't cut my head off.
Gas prices are high, but I don't want drilling in my back yard, or windmills where I can see them, and the caribou don't really like the warmth of the pipelines that they cluster around in Alaska but by my Ideas and Authority I shall decree that gas prices...just...drop. And that no exploration for energy be done. But that the prices...just...drop. By my Ideas and Authority.
I don't like having to live on my income; it vexes me and I have so many good ideas on how to spend money, and whose money it is doesn't matter. By my Ideas and Authority I shall spend all the money that I want, and since it's OPM that's all right, and if they don't like it, that's even better because it's arising out of my Ideas and Authority and I like it when people are displeased by my Ideas and Authority.
And what about those times that I itch in the nether regions? By my Ideas and Authority I shall have complete suasion over any gym of my choosing. By my Ideas and Authority no one that I want to have suasion over will object, even if that person can bench press #250. Because by my Ideas and Authority I will bench press a hundredweight more.
Why stop there? I really want to be able to eat a half gallon if chocolate mint ice cream a day without straining elevators. And so I shall because by my Ideas and Authority I decree that I can eat what I want without getting fat.
This is great. Beats the hell out of working, thinking, being responsible or adult. Why, oh why, did I ever try to responsible when all I had to do was pitch a fit? And this way I don't have to be more than the sum of my resentments.
0 TrackBacks
Listed below are links to blogs that reference this entry: My ideas and authority, redux.
TrackBack URL for this entry: http://www.jessicaswell.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-tb.cgi/1861
7 Comments
And while eating a hot dog wearing huge flannel pants too. Just after practicing my trumpet and my lute, while avoiding that bawd Santa who makes the great potatis salad.
My favorite book.
Simply, comical. Good job, Moe!! Ready for some pie??
Note that Islam is the fastest growing religion inside America.
Yes, it is. Microsoft taught me how to cook the books on the speed of growth, though: the failed Zune was said to be faster growing than the iPod--which is true. The iPod still has about 70% of the MP3 market.
More interesting though to me is how people simply need a fundamentalist religion. In the late 19th and early 20th century there was an effort by Protestants and Jews in Germany to reform religion to be more secular, that is, to emphasize earthly living instead of a judgment in an afterlife. This proved to be too weak psychologically to withstand the failure in WWI and it is thought left a vacuum for the rise of National Socialism.
The main-line churches, which are principally staffed, in the head offices, by moonbats these days, are losing influence as they veer away from fundamentalism, while fundamentalist religions of every stripe: Opus Dei, Southern Baptist, CoC, Mormon, Islam, Hair shirt Environmentalism, are gaining converts, owing, I think, to people's innate need for a structure which liberal values cannot provide.
This provides my essential quarrel with liberalism, in that it wants to replace something supernatural (which I have no belief in whatsoever) with something temporal, which changes day by day and always ends in a concentration camp.
Wow, Theocritus, are you saying you don't believe in God and you're full of resentment? Dude, we can help. First stop disliking everybody and everything and treating your liberal neighbors as if they are beneath contempt. Once you've accomplished this, we'll go on to step two. In no time at all, people will begin to like you.
There's the "we" again. Anonymous, do you lead a cult of nameless trolls?
Anonymous's cult of nameless trolls, the only requirements are that you
1. Have no name
2. Never use of the first person singular.
3. Never actually answer the question posed.
Did you happen to write this on a Big Chief tablet? It carries the same tone and style as an entry by Ignatius P Reilly in Confederacy of Dunces.