I have a modest proposal--it is not, like Jonathan Swift's, that the Irish eat their babies. In fact I think that the Irish ought to have more of them and come over here to work and live.

My proposal is an improvement in driving tests.

Today driving from Las Vegas to Los Angeles traffic slowed to 20 to 30 mph for nearly an hour. I thought it was the advertised road construction, but no.

There had been a wreck. Minor automobile damage. No bodies. Nothing blocking traffic. But the people were gawping enough to slow traffic for nearly an hour. At nothing.

My modest proposal is that driving tests be augmented. Give one in a simulator, and have a projected accident, not even needing blood and bodies lying on the ground. If the student slows down and opens his gob to stare at it, he fails the test.

And here's where it gets nasty: this might be a sufficient reason for eugenics to kick in. People who stare at a non-event and inconvenience literally thousands of people are the same people who twitch curtains. Who interfere in others' lives. Whose noses are always in others' business. If those people didn't reproduce, in a couple of years we might have a lot fewer interfering liberals.

But if that student did say, "We could stop this if we have a new policy..." that's certain proof that that bloodline needs to stop there, before we have a new Pelosi.

All right, all right. I don't really believe in eugenics. I'm just saying.