As Walsingham noted, the Goracle has cancelled a personal appearance at the snatch-and-grab at Copenhagen on December 16, Beethoven's birthday.

Friday, Vice President Gore gave a press conference.

It is unfortunate that the organizers and I could not come to an agreement about my fee. Any agent gets 10% of a performer's fees; if it weren't for me, anthropogenic global warming would be gathering dust like the Flat Earth Society, and those people in Copenhagen would have to do heavy lifting, like real research or governing.

Anthropogenic Global Warming is my lie and I want my $16 billion a year. It's hard to make ends meet with all my private jets and limousines.